It's my understanding, from having experience in shamanic journeying and systemic constellations, that our souls are incapable of being annihilated. They can, however, be shattered from traumatic experiences and as a form of protection some of these pieces will hide and seek refuge in the unconscious.
One of the services of a shamanic journeyer is to retrieve these hidden parts and unite them with the soul who needs them back.
For soul retrieval work it’s necessary to journey to the upper world and seek the advice and counsel of our specific spiritual teacher. We all have one. Once this connection has been established we’re able to do soul retrievals on behalf of other people, animals, places and even ourselves.
Recently I was able to to do a soul retrieval for myself. An old wound was activated when my business was publicly reviewed in a negative way. I was mortified. Friends and peers assured me this negative review would not hurt my business as it is one in a sea of positive reviews. Despite knowing this, I felt victimized, humiliated, shamed and extremely hurt. This caused an incredible wave of anger to surface, followed by a deep, paralyzing pain that wasn't going away.
In speaking with a good friend about my feelings I suddenly remembered a similar experience when I was twelve years old. I'd been pressurized into inviting three new friends over for tea at my house. They were from a better part of the village and their family was intact.
At that time my dad had been missing for years and my mum was struggling to work day and night with two jobs to pay the bills. I rarely saw my mum and my older siblings and I were left to fend for ourselves. Needless to say our house was in a shambles.
The next day my friends who visited told everyone in school that my house was a pig sty. Word quickly got back to me and I felt devastated and betrayed. I confronted the girl who was the one spreading the news and asked her, ‘did you call my house a pig sty’ and she said ‘yes’. So in response I head butted her. We were both sent to the head mistress for punishment.
In recalling this memory I realized how this wound had been touched as it completely matched my current mood.
I knew I had work to do. My twelve year old was waiting for me to rescue her. I've never done a soul retrieval for my self before and wasn’t even sure if it would work, but I was willing to try.
In the journey I invited in spirit form my two deceased dogs, Roxy and Zorro and my deceased horse Hank to come with me. We journeyed to the upper world and sat with my teacher who was overjoyed to see us.
I told him what I needed. He invited my tough, hurt twelve year year old to join us. I I told her ‘You're too small to carry the shame of being poor and neglected. The life you dream of, dogs, horses and a tipi, is what we have now and we want you to come home with us and stay with us forever.’ She ecstatically agreed.
Since retrieving my wounded twelve year old the charge around the negative review has lost it’s power. I can now see it for what it is and can deal with it in a neutral and professional manner.
As for my newly integrated self, I notice the charm and magic of living close to nature. The way the birds approach us, unafraid, to get a drink from the dripping hose. The ravens, who constantly watch over us, and my horses who've noticed, I'm back to my self.