The Empathic Healer
Morning on the Seine is by Claude Monet
Updated and republished July 2025 – I’ve revisited this piece nearly a decade after its original publication, adding a fresh introduction and reflections on empathic sensitivity during these transformative times.
I first wrote The Empathic Healer nine years ago, almost to the day. Reading it now, I’m reminded how pivotal this time was in understanding my own sensitivity — and learning to turn empathy from a burden into a gift.
As the world continues to intensify, many of us who feel deeply are being called to step up with greater self-awareness and stronger boundaries. I’m sharing this piece again because I believe it can help empaths recognize their patterns and find the tools needed to heal and thrive.
In 1999, I found out I was an empath after enrolling into the Polarity Healing Arts School in Topanga CA. In one of our first classes, the teacher performed a table demonstration on a student. This man had grown up in a war environment and as a child had been subjected to random bombings and attacks. This childhood trauma was buried in his system. The teacher was able to locate the energy of his trauma by tuning into his para sympathetic nervous system. The teacher asked those of us watching, how we were feeling.
Tears were streaming down my face and when I described how I'd suddenly become emotional, the man yelled at me saying he didn’t want me to pity him. Yet, when I tuned in to see where the emotion was coming from, I understood it to be a reaction from his system to mine; triggered by my own childhood experiences. It had nothing to do with me pitying him.
I realized later that my strong resonance with the man who grew up under bombings wasn’t random: both of my parents lived through the Blitz era in London during World War II. Like many children, they were evacuated from the city to the countryside. My mum had a wonderful time staying on a farm, but my dad’s experience was traumatic — he ran away from his placement and returned to London on his own. Although their individual experiences were different, the chaos and uncertainty of wartime created a deeply traumatic backdrop that shaped both their lives.
My grandfather’s story reached even further back. At just 15, he enlisted in the army during World War I. To join, he had to prove his age — and when he saw his birth certificate, he discovered the shocking truth that he’d been lied to about his real father, a mystery our family still hasn’t solved. His role in the army was managing horses, likely draft horses used to pull artillery and supplies. He could never speak about what he experienced. Decades later, I found myself rescuing horses — often draft or draft-cross breeds — from the Premarin industry, where mares are confined and used for the production of hormone replacement therapy (HRT) drugs. Reflecting on this, I see how deeply ancestral stories can weave themselves into our lives, shaping both our pain and our callings.
This initial experience was a pivotal revelation, motivating me to learn how to master my own empathic nature and not be a victim of it. In my healing practice, which I’ve developed over a period of twenty five years, I’m able to use my empathy constructively, in order to go to unknown places to reveal and help heal unconscious wounds. This means locating past, ancestral, other lives or present wounds. Once the session is over I detach from my client with the understanding of what is mine and what's theirs.
Empaths make excellent healers yet many pay a heavy price. By not being ‘trained’, empathic healers can quickly become overwhelmed and sometimes physically ill by taking on the energy of their clients. Being grounded, aligned, neutral and healthy is essential for empaths when facilitating sessions.
In my practice, I screen potential clients to decide if it's in our highest good to work together. My methods are extremely unorthodox, and for those who don’t believe in the effectiveness of my work, as the practitioner, it can have a negative impact. Sometimes, after seeing a skeptical client, I become debilitated. It’s as if my system experiences a short circuit and the session ‘back fires’. This happened to me recently and I was out for two weeks with chronic back pain. Needless to say it was a strong reminder for me to take my self care seriously. This means regular clearings, sessions from other practitioners, time off and setting a clear intention in having a healthy reciprocal relationship with my clients.
These realizations have taught me that our deepest sensitivities are rarely random; they are often invitations to uncover hidden threads in our family and ancestral stories. Mastering empathy isn’t about shutting down these feelings but understanding where they come from and learning how to hold them with compassion and clarity. When we do, what once overwhelmed us can become a powerful gift for healing ourselves and others.
If you recognize yourself in these words and feel called to transform inherited patterns or deepen your path as an empathic healer, I invite you to connect. My 8-month Foundations of Family Constellation course begins August 30 (early bird ends July 12), and I also offer private sessions and mentorship for those drawn to working with horses and healing. If you have any questions contact me sara@silverhorse.us